Inconceivable

Inconceivable. It is beyond my conception that my son is mere hours away from finishing kindergarten. Truly, I cannot wrap my mind around the thought. 

Wasn’t it just a few months ago that he was learning to walk, blabbering about nanas and trucks? Wasn’t he just out on the deck railing, carefully held by his father, pointing at the ‘mooooooon’ for the first time? I know it was just weeks ago that he began preschool and learned about the Mouse, the Bear, and the Red, Ripe Strawberry and wore those silly glasses as a disguise. And then, he learned about dinosaurs and made that playdough fossil. Didn’t we just meet his four-year old teacher and learn to love her and her amazing use of wikki sticks, glue, paper, and paint? Didn’t he just learn to count without skipping from twelve to sixteen? 

How is it possible that he has learned to read already and to tell time and to count money? How can his tiny brain hold life-altering facts about presidents and important American citizens? He already knows what ‘subtract’ and ‘chrysalis’ and ‘molt’ and ‘indivisible’ mean. 

I thought he was a genius when he stacked blocks on top of his milk cup and made a successful tower. Now, he’s writing paragraphs about metamorphosis. I thought he was amazing when he could find our state on a map. Now he can calculate how much money he has in his clammy handful of coins. 

He has grown up so much, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. He can do things that he has never done before…and with a confidence he’s never had before. He’s on his way to becoming an amazing little man. 

I want to smile, as if I approve of this change. I want to cry, to stop this growth. I want to hold him, to keep him close forever. I want to push him onward, to continue his development. 

I must grow and develop with him, as I have never been this far with him…and I want to keep going too. 

My love for him is inconceivable. 

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