‘I don’t know how to play this game’

Recently, my son had a friend over for the afternoon. After several hours at the pool, the two boys settled down to play a video game while I prepared dinner. They started with something they both knew, but then my son invited his friend to try a new game.

‘I don’t know how to play this game. I’ll watch you for a few minutes.’

I overheard those wise words and was astounded at the humility of our eleven-year old neighbor. A total admission of ignorance to a peer…and a willingness to learn from him.

Where was the bravado? Where were the false claims of high scores past? No puffed-up chest and big talk? No testosterone-encited braggadocio?  WHAT????

I loved it! The simple truth.

‘I don’t know how to do this thing. I want to know how to do it, but I’m ignorant at this time. Please show me how, and then I can participate with you.’

Now, I realize THAT’S way to lengthy and philosophical for these  controller-wielding preteens, but I’ve been around longer. I know where that priceless humility leads.

It leads to honest friendships and worthwhile relationships. It leads to being a target for manipulators, true, but oh, the depth of trustworthiness that humility displays to the rest of the population.

Being honest about faults and ignorance is the antithesis of original sin. Lucifer wanted to be equal, if not better, than God. Eve and Adam thought they knew their own limitations better than God, so they tried the forbidden fruit.. Pride…damned pride. Thinking we know better than the one who created us. We are fools.

To present ourselves to others as desirous of knowledge on a new topic, craving relationship and connection…that’s what God really wanted at the beginning of this whole existence thing. He wanted us to be open to learn, wide-eyed with wonder, reaching out to gain from experience with others, Himself foremost.

I don’t know how to do a lot of things that I want to know how to do. I want to demonstrate more love to my husband. I want to raise children who love God and others. I want to use my money more wisely. I want to find ways to help those who don’t have as much as I do. I want to bridge relational gaps.

Can you help me play this game? I will watch you and learn how to do it. Then, we can enjoy doing it together.

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James 1:2-6

² My brothers and sisters, you will face all kinds of trouble. When you do, think of it as pure joy. ³ Your faith will be tested. You know that when this happens it will produce in you the strength to continue. ⁴ And you must allow this strength to finish its work. Then you will be all you should be. You will have everything you need. ⁵ If any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He will give it to you. God gives freely to everyone and doesn’t find fault. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe. You must not doubt. That’s because a person who doubts is like a wave of the sea. The wind blows and tosses them around.

Muscle Development

**Forgive the large number of metaphors used herein. They just kinda fit this particular scenario in all their varied ways. ***

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a past time in my life…one that was not so happy. And I’ve been kinda perplexed about why I’m dwelling there.

I finally realized why today. It’s because I’m on the verge of making some similar mistakes now as I did then. Much of my life now is different than it was those 12 years ago, but apparently, this little pattern of  subconscious behavior is the same…because it’s about to repeat itself.

Weird, isn’t it? It’s like eating something that you haven’t had in years, and being taken back to that time when you ate that thing last…whether appetizing or not. Or smelling a scent that transports you to another time…pleasant or not. Only, this isn’t with my senses; it’s with my mind and my emotions. Those are a little harder to ignore… both before and after a decision has been made. While I can think of quite a few seemingly legitimate reasons to make the one choice, the older, wiser, hardened part of me can think of fewer but healthier reasons not to.

I have striven over these years to make some pretty significant changes in myself. I’ve gone at self-analysis like a body-builder goes at training…diligently and purposefully.  So, it’s aggravating that this weak muscle lingers. But it’s impossible to get the whole body trained at once. Each muscle set must be developed with it’s own exercises, over its own span of time. Likewise, each area of self-strengthening must be tackled within its own realm, as the occasion arises to work on it. You can’t work being more outgoing when you’re in the middle of a church service. You can’t practice confidence when you’re watching the weather report. Developing a new personal skill happens when you decide to act differently in an old situation,as though you’re adding on the weight to increase the strength of the developing muscle. Speaking to someone kindly after church is over, or confidently telling someone at work during the day what you saw on the weather channel this morning. Same ol’ situation…new behavior within it.

So, here I am in an old situation. I guess the important thing right now is that I’ve realized my mistake before I’ve made it again. So that I’m not agonizing 12 years hence about why I didn’t see it coming this time. I am seeing it now. And now, I must choose differently.